


she tastes just like herseys

by mikantsumiki



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Birthday Sex, F/M, Tentabulges
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-03
Updated: 2012-12-03
Packaged: 2017-11-20 04:39:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/581394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikantsumiki/pseuds/mikantsumiki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She may not understand everything about human traditions, but your girl does know what a birthday is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	she tastes just like herseys

**Author's Note:**

> you should listen to my gfs [fst](http://8tracks.com/shaggy2dope/dave-striders-its-my-birthday-so-im-entitled-to-get-some-mixtape) while reading this yep  
> also the picture is not mine and can be found [here](http://transcendentalisttrainer.tumblr.com/post/18393445222/oh-i-did-this-too-wow-i-keep-telling-myself)

She may not understand everything about human traditions, but your girl does know what a birthday is. Sure, she’s got a different name for it and everything, but it’s still the same thing.

And it’s not very graceful how she greets you on your special day by strolling into your room almost nothing on her back, saved for her own eyewear with a pair of your boxers and attacking your body with a bunch of sweet nips and licks and claws in your hair, kisses to your face, teeth getting a little too comfortable towards your face. Normally, you’re okay with this but you kind of just woke up and have nothing shielding your face from those sharp edges. You don’t even wonder why she was walking out there half naked where anybody could’ve seen her; they’re all probably still sleeping anyway.

You push her softly and sit up in bed, resting back against the wall. She presses herself into your side, molding together like she’s your missing piece of this now completed puzzle, snout against your cheek. She whispers happy birthday against your neck and you can feel every twitch her mouth makes since at first she’s frowning about it, but then you turn your face just a bit and kiss her gently and then you can feel it against your own lips, especially when she cracks a grin at the end.

You kind of really love her when she grins like that, even if it used to scare the shit out of you.

\--

She doesn’t really understand what’s so special about this day, though; on her planet, when the day comes along, it just means you grow another sweep older. There’s no celebration of your birth and unfortunately, for trolls in the lower cast of the spectrum, it just means they’re getting closer towards their death. When she puts it that way, it sounds awfully depressing to you. She tells you that it’s always been that way.

She also says that she used to celebrate her own wriggling day by herself, saved for Senator Lemonsnout, but he doesn’t count since he’s a wanted criminal and criminals aren’t allowed at her parties. She says once her lusus came when she was a smaller troll and that she got to hang out with her mom and ever since, that’s been one of her favorite days.

She says the other days are when she gets to build Can Town with you. That is some of the cheesiest bullshit you’ve ever heard, and that is saying something because you know cheesy lines when you see them (you also try to avoid using them as much as possible.

Unless, you know, it’ll make her a giggling mess. Those are the best times to use them).

You push her playfully at that and she pushes back.

\--

There’s not really much to do on the meteor now that you’ve pretty much done everything that’s even possible. You’ve alchemized pretty much anything and everything you can think of, you’ve played all the games you can think of (multiple times) and they’re starting to bore you two, you’ve even role-played with her, just so that she could stop trying to make you do shit you don’t want to. You’ve had fakes marriages, you have written every single rap you can think of, you got Terezi’s computer to stream movies from a different galaxy once (but then you realized you two couldn’t watch them because her tongue would be all over that screen and you wouldn’t be able to see a damned thing), you even once got Rose to teach you guys a bit about Psychology. Sure, you didn’t really care much for the subject, but now you know a bit more about childhood trauma that you wish you didn’t.

Something else that you’ve even tried to do once, but never really got around to it was actually completing the unspeakable act with your girlfriend.

The first time you guys tried, you asked Rose about how alien sex even works. At the time you kind of assumed she and Kanaya had done it already since they were being so “secretive” about their relationship. You bugged and bitched at her for who knows how long but the broad wouldn’t tell you anything. She’d brush you off and say to go find out for yourself and also telling you to use condoms because you never know if Terezi’s got some kind of disease or whatever (you doubt it though, because she would’ve told you if she had AIDS or something.

…Right?)

After that, you tried asking Kanaya. You would’ve tried asking Karkat, maybe, but you’re not sure how he’d handle talking about sex since it hadn’t been that long since they broke off their matespritship so you decided not to. But you weren’t really sure if you and the Kan'nihilator were cool enough to discuss the horizontal mambo just yet either, especially since you’d be asking about her sex life with your sister but you had to try. Besides, who better to ask about female alien junk than another female alien, right?

It didn’t really get too far though because the jade blood couldn’t stop fumbling with her words and flushing deeply, trying to stay formal with how she said everything. Eventually, all you had to do was say her name when she was rambling on and on about how this was so inappropriate to be talking about and your moirail just blurted out that she didn’t want to talk about this anymore. You didn’t expect her to really talk anyway; you figured that out a while ago when you tried asking for her advice on how to ask Terezi out in the first place. She told you to just “wing it” and your boo just laughed at you when you tried expressing your feelings. You got pissed at her, didn’t talk to her for at least a week even when she begged and pleaded for your forgiveness (you’re pretty sure she was also getting bored hanging out with just the mayor) before she finally came around to apologizing. The next few days the two of you were dating.

Things worked out strange for the two of you, but you wouldn’t change it. You like the complications that go into this relationship you have with Terezi Pyrope.

The night you got together, however, was also the first time you tried getting into her panties. She didn’t deny you access; you had a hand in them and your fingertips were brushing up against her pelvic bone, a little anxious but also nervous to know what she had hiding down there. Either way, your dick wasn’t saying no. It was slimy as fuck and you could’ve sworn something was pulling your fingers into something else that was warm and sticky but you didn’t mind.

You pressed your mouth into her neck and tried saying sexy metaphors into her ear, or at least you thought they were until she started crying with laughter, her head thrown back.

What the hell was so funny? You got kind of offended (over what, you’re still not entirely sure) and stopped, abruptly leaving her there and going off into your room. You had to get yourself off and hope to God nobody barges in while you’re jerking the chicken because that’s not cool at all.

You’ve gotten over that since it happened though. Obviously you two weren’t mature enough for sex yet (holy shit, you were only thirteen for Christ’s sakes and that seems like forever ago now).

Ever since then, and that was seemed like centuries ago, the two of you haven’t been very intimate, aside from a few make-out sessions here and there and sometimes you’d just casually grab her ass when she was sitting in your lap but hey, that’s her fault for choosing your lap as her personal chair.

You kind of hope you’ll get some tonight just because it’s your birthday, even if that means you have to corner your girl and touch her in the ways only you know she likes.

Then again, you doubt she’d deny you of that.

\--

You’re sitting around with your best buddy, WV, whose back is towards you at the moment, crudely drawing a topless girl into the park of Can Town. You know you shouldn’t be doing this and that the mayor’s probably going to be pissed at you for it (that, or he’ll be confused, depending if he even knows what a naked girl looks like) but you’ve grown bored with adding onto this precious town so you’re just giving it some minor details.

Well, in this case, it’s not really minor. You’re pretty sure if this was a real park with a floor map of grass that was designed to look like a woman showing off her exaggerated large tits that everyone would notice. Maybe not at first, because the world is filled with so many idiots, but they’d notice eventually (somebody would point it out obnoxiously).

By the time you’re done, Terezi comes along in something way more decent looking then she was in hours ago, her cane click-clacking against the ground. She leans against it, peering down at the two of you like she can actually see, inhaling deeply. She’s probably enjoying the different shades of reds, peach and browns (she’d correct you, saying it’s cherries, bread and almonds, but you don’t really give a shit about the flavors of colors) you’ve been using on your drawing; you kind of wonder if she’s ever gotten high off of the scents. She says that she needs to have a word with you once you’re not busy.

If you two were having problems in your relationship, you might’ve been worried. That’s not to say you don’t, because holy shit you do and there’s too many for you guys to handle and yet you guys are still together, but none of them are happening _now_.

At first you nod your head so that you can get back to concentrating on your drawing, but then you forget (you’re always forgetting these small things) she can’t see you so you tell her you’ll be done soon. She scurries off after that, your eyes watching her ass as she walks away, hips swaying. You will never deny that your baby girl’s got a back that can put a black woman to shame or how it compliments her pear shape.

\--

It’s about forty five minutes later by the time you catch up to Terezi. She’s sitting in her room messing with a few of her scalemates, cutting them down from the ceiling and gathering them up for yet another one of her court cases she has every other day. Sometimes, you sit around with her as the jury and watch as she steals the spotlight and goes off passionately about her cases, some of them ending destructively. She may be one crazy bitch, but at least she’s interested in something and that’s such an attractive quality (you want to barf at how you notice these stupid things).

“Hey babe, sorry I took so long but you know how it is with the Mayor. He’s always needing things and wanting me to help him with Can Town and what not; seriously I wonder if he’ll ever get off my dick about how we’re supposed to be starting up the democracy and getting rid of this dictatorship he’s already got, even though I know he rather run the place by himself then with me since he’s got his ideas and I’ve got my own and they’re not the same whatsoever,” You say all out in one breath, “I swear to God this shit’s gonna be worse than the wreck of old ’97.”

She doesn’t turn around for the longest time, just continues setting up and humming quietly to herself. Once she’s done, she gets up from her spot and turns on her heels, her face neutral. She looks like she’s concentrating hard on something so you don’t say anything else. You don’t want to throw off her groove or anything. She tells you that she needs to do something really quick and that she’ll come by your room soon. You want to question her about it but she pushes you out the next moment and you’re stuck looking at a metal door.

You shrug it off and go into your room and wait for her. You sit down on your bed and look anywhere but at the door. You let your arms lay across your stomach and hum as you then look at the ceiling. At least now when she walks in she can’t say you smell of desperation. Maybe you guys will actually hang out now, considering she’s been only stopping by to check up on you every once in a while through the day. You’re pretty sure it’s getting close to night again, but you don’t know. It’s always dark and seems like night nowadays.

The door opens and she slides in, not looking any different except for her red dragon cape wrapped around her and the fact that you’re sure she’s not wearing pants anymore? You raise an eyebrow, barely visible over your shades before sitting up. You’re about to ask about it but then she drops it to the ground and

_Oh my God_

All she has underneath it is a stereo and a pajama shirt that comes down to her mid-thighs and it makes her look shorter than she already is (she barely comes to your shoulder).

You’re pretty sure you said ‘omfg’ out loud though as she sets the machine down. She presses the play button on it and a song starts to pump through the speakers.

The fact that she picked this out makes you want to roll your eyes but you don’t once you notice she’s trying to dance. She sways to the beat like she’s been trying to memorize moves from a porno in which a chick’s trying to seduce her man with the lamest dancing technique ever only without the grinding and fake moaning (not that you’d know; porn sucks and you’d rather have the real thing anyway).

It doesn’t work really, but you appreciate that she’s trying.

You move up enough to wrap your arms around her waist and bring her closer, your face pressing into the underside of her breasts. She giggles, hands resting on top of your head and tilting your face up. She asks what you thought of it along with another soft happy birthday and that she’ll give you your actual present later. You’re kind of curious what she got you but then again you’re also kind of occupied with putting your hands on that perfect booty of hers.

“It was somethin’,” You murmur against the fabric, groping her enough to get a surprised sigh through her lips. The noises she makes are like music to your ears.

But now it’s not the time for words. You figured with the way she’s half-naked for you that she was expecting for you to ravish her as much as you want to. You grab her enough to turn your bodies, pushing her onto your bed. You climb onto the mattress, hovering over her body as you back her up until she’s lying down with her head in the pillows. You reach forward and slide her shades off of her face, setting them down on the table besides your bed, doing the same with your own.

The song switches by the time you kiss her, her black lips as rough as the rest of her skin. You wonder if she thinks you feel soft to her as her hands come up to roam over your biceps, groping them while she tilts her head, deepening the kiss quickly. You two have been at this stage of your relationship since forever that it feels too natural now. Your eyes slowly close as your tongue pushes out of your mouth, fingers tangling in her hair and tugging just a bit. It’s not like you want to hurt her or anything (you doubt you could though).

You feel her hands traveling all over you; they’re on your arms one second and then running down your back and then moving to your chest. You think she’s trying to get at your shirt, but she’s probably forgetting that you need to get this cape off first. You take your hands away long enough to pull it off of your shoulders and throw it onto the ground somewhere. You make an effort to get off your short sleeved shirt next, the dark red shirt joining your cape along with your original shirt with the cracked record on it.

They won’t be missed.

You’ve got your lips back on hers within seconds and she makes a noise against them, gray fingers and sharp nails running over your milky skin, leaving almost invisible marks. You know your girl wouldn’t purposely hurt you, even if it was accidental, and that’s why you know you won’t get bloody cuts all over yourself. Your hands come down to the shirt she’s wearing pushing it up enough to feel over her stomach, pushing the fabric up towards her breasts. You break just enough to tear it off of her torso, letting it fall somewhere that you don’t _care_ about, palms coming up to her mounds. You knead them slowly, thumbs flicking clumsily over her nipples. You watch her face as she reacts, eyes half-lidded and mouth slightly parted, as you massage them sliding yourself easily into her lap.

You shift enough to bring your head down towards her chest, kissing up her middle. Your fingers continue to work their magic over her boobs, moving so that you can wrap your lips around one nipple and suck. You hear a sharp intake of breath, tongue licking around the aerola  while your eyes close again to get more into it. You feel her pull her shirt off the rest of the way, dropping it onto the side.

You slowly make your way downwards after that, pressing butterfly kisses along her skin, moving along the contorts of her stomach, down to her hip bones and leaving soft pecks of your lips on them before getting closer to her pelvic bone. Your nose runs along it teasingly, your eyes flicking upwards just so you can see what she looks like. When you press your mouth against her panties she lets out the faintest of moans. You do it a few more times before finally pulling them down her legs, dropping them to the side.

She’s got this dripping little tentacle (she told you it was a tentabulge? You don’t really remember) that kind of worries you. She’s told you plenty of times before that there’s nothing to be scared about, and you’re definitely not, but it’s still so… weird. You’ve never seen anything like that before.

You run your hand over the teal tentacle slowly, watching as it wraps around your fingers and pulls you in. It feels so weird and different but it’s making Terezi moan pretty loud so you keep doing it, not even caring if anyone else on the meteor hears you.

If she was your birthday present instead, you’d be pretty fucking okay with that.

Your fingertips dip lower to press along something else that looks more familiar to you. You press one into her slowly and she squirms, telling you to stop teasing her. You push it in farther, feeling over her walls and she’s throwing her head back with a sound that you hope isn’t her dying or something because that’s what it sounds like.

She moves up, flips you onto your back before you even notice and she’s almost on top of you. She practically tears your pants off, pulling them off hastily along with your boxers before she moves into a position to straddle you. She looks a bit impatient as she positions herself against you.

You stop her long enough to reach into the table’s draw and grab for a condom. It’s better to be safe and alien diseased free than sorry and dying worse than terrorist attack.

You roll it over your dick real quick before she places her hands on your chest and sinks herself down, nails hard enough to almost break skin.

They actually do and you hiss in pain. Wow Terezi, thanks so much.

You grind right into her slowly at first, letting her get used to the feeling of your cock inside of her as your lips pressed against her neck. You’re kissing and sucking on it hard right there, feeling her hands move over you almost out of control. You place your hands back onto her ass and grope. She growls softly, almost animalistically as you move in and out of her faster.

You can tell it’s not hurting her as much as she grows less and less tense with each movement. You end up leaving a nice black and purple mark against her skin, smirking to yourself. You hope that somebody notices it in the morning.

When you pull away, you swear she looks more beautiful than she’s ever looked before. She’s got her eyes clenched closed as she moves against you, hips knocking into yours, and she’s licking her lips slowly, almost in a hypnotic trance. You can see the small freckles along the bridge of her nose; they’re dark enough not to be noticed unless you were this close to her. Her eyelashes aren’t as clumpy as you thought they were and they barely brush against her cheeks.

You move in and out of her faster once you feel close to your peak, pressing your mouth into her cheek to keep from making some embarrassingly loud noise. She’s a chorus of her sound, the music drowning out half of what’s making and sure that’s a bit disappointing but you don’t have time to focus on that.

Her bulge grabs onto your wrist and drizzles juices lightly along your skin. If you weren’t this much turned on you’d probably lose your boner right then and there but you honestly don’t care about that right now. Your girlfriend feels hot and wet and tight around your cock and it’s driving you crazy.

Sooner than later you’re coming undone, shooting off into the plastic. You still pound in and out of her until she makes a mess all over your stomach and you’re sticky with something that’s light teal. You bring yourself down to a slow speed before pulling out of her, tying the condom up and tossing it into a little trashcan on the side. Terezi climbs up the length of your body and snuggles right into your side, pressing a kiss to your temple.

It feels like years before either of you move, your arms wrapped around her waist while she drapes one over your torso. You stay like that for what must be hours before she withdraws.

“I still have something to give you,” She drawls quietly before getting up and moving towards where she dropped her cape, reaching into it and grabbing for a piece of paper. She switches the music off before climbing back in with you. “Look at it!” She says, “I’ve been spending so much time trying to copy your style so that I could make this for you.”

You’re not sure what she means at first until you open it and wham, it’s a drawing of the[ two of you hugging it out](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m02ks6BL1d1r6yf7zo1_500.png). You let out a short laugh before tugging it closer to your body, kissing her slowly in a way that she’d know it means _I love it_. She kisses back and you swear somehow she tastes just like chocolate, but you doubt she’s ever had any. Maybe one day when it’s her birthday—wriggling day, or whatever—you’ll treat her to some fancy chocolate.

Maybe.


End file.
